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Sue B. is a mother of two near Vancouver, BC, as well as an avid gamer. We like her a lot, even if we’ve grown tired of reading about her Farmville accomplishments in our Facebook newsfeeds.

love gaming. From Tomb Raider in the mid 90s, to my introduction to the joys Facebook apps, to playing Rock Band on the PS3 with my children… its all good! I can easily lose a weekend to role playing games, particularly those with interesting characters and a solid storyline. I’m looking forward to getting into Dragon Age over Christmas break and discovering the joys of a new Wii with the kids.

I find gaming, however, to be a double-edged sword. On one hand it provides a break, a much-needed brain vacation from real-life challenges. And when playing, I get the immediate satisfaction of succeeding at a set objective, and the ability to “reset” or “reload” if I totally blow it. However, I can also get so caught up in my games that I begin to miss out on my life. It is a bit of a balancing act to make sure they remain entertainment and don’t become an alternate reality!

I found myself in the latter situation a few months ago after a few things in my life had gone sideways. Broke, single, and looking for work in a tough economy, I looked up one day from a game I was playing and realized that a whole week had passed and, while I had made terrific progress on my apps, the rest of my life still lay in shambles. Hmmm.

Then, I found myself talking to a mother who despaired of her son ever making anything of his life because—you guessed it—he was spending all his time with his games.

“it’s impossible to get him out of his room,” she said.

“It must be frustrating” I commiserated, “but maybe the games are offering him some order in what is otherwise a very confusing world.”  She looked at me like I had grown a second head, but seemed willing to hear me out.

The universe does that; sends us opportunities to learn, wrapped up in a chance to be helpful. I found myself explaining to her the joy of task completion in a game, the relief found in walkthroughs and cheats and guides when up against a tough spot, the thrill of doing things on screen that one could or would never do in real life, and the simplicity of knowing, through accessing organized menu screens, where you are, where you need to be, and exactly what you need to do to finish your mission. I don’t know how much our conversation helped her to understand her son’s relationship with games, but it sure gave me some food for thought.

With regard to menus, I mentioned how in games, one has ready access to a list of one’s equipment, skills, talents, and attributes to see they’re adequately prepared for a given mission, or if they need to beef things up a bit to proceed. I found myself sharing with her that, for me, when life seems overly complicated and difficult to sort through, RPG gaming gives me a logical and orderly world. I walked away from the conversation wondering if there wasn’t – in the process of gaming – some tidbit of creativity or aspect of problem-solving that I could apply to my real-life situation.

Later that same afternoon I set out to create my own personal pull down menu, in the style of RPGs. I put it on paper instead of onscreen, but nonetheless I did it! Under the headings attributes, skills, equipment, and alliances – I listed who I am, what I can do, what do I have to work with, and who do I have who can help!

This simple act broke loose some important information which I had been overlooking, reminded me of what I am good at and what I enjoy, and provided me with a new way of looking at myself and my situation.

What I discovered through that simple little exercise was courage to go in directions I hadn’t before considered. I’m in a job now that uses my skills and talent. I do real life tasks everyday that are an expression of who I am, that I love to do.

I directly used the information gathered that afternoon to give me direction and hope at a time when the only life it seemed I had was on screen. I still game, but I also have a life that gets me out of bed in the morning with a smile on my face and leaves me with a solid sense of accomplishment at night. It’s been a journey from there to here, but what life worth living isn’t?

So it occurred to me that there might be others out there who would benefit from my “walkthrough”. Use it, change it, make it yours – and happy living to my gaming friends out there!

by Sue B.